It’s time for the next King’s CROWNing Authors (Cajoling Random Observations Now) interview. Please welcome,
1. Please describe your Twitter profile pic using only positive words?
Hmm, that’s tough. My profile picture is a character from my book named Miss Merrybench, and she’s . . . unpleasant, as you can imagine from that expression. Let’s go with: Efficient, Tough, and PleasePleasePleaseDon’tSendMeToTheSchoolSecretary (That’s one word if you say it fast. Not cheating at all).
2. You are the head teacher in Dr. Critchlore’s School for Minions please list 5 rules?
1. No eating your classmates (I’m looking at you, werewolves, zombies, and whatever kind of monster is sitting in the corner of the room, dripping sludge).
2. No squashing your classmates (Please be careful, giants, ogres, and trolls).
3. No pretending you were present when you weren’t. (Ghosts, I’ve seen this trick a million times).
4. Keep your tentacles to yourself.
5. The underground grotto is off limits, for your own safety
3. Boarding school or day girl?
Me, personally? I’m a huge homebody, so boarding school would be a nightmare for me. I hated sleep-away camp as a kid.
4. What is easier than work?
I’ll go with: Everything. But let me be all cliche here and say that there’s no better feeling than accomplishment, and that only comes with lots of hard work.
5. Books or reality TV and both with cheese?
I’m not a huge reality TV fan (except for Survivor, the Amazing Race, MasterChef, a bunch of other cooking shows, the Bachelor, um, I guess I kind of am a reality TV fan. Hmm, I now have to rethink my opinion of myself). Of course I love books, and cheese makes everything yummier, so – both with cheese!
6. Can we ever live in peace?
This is a deep philosophical question I don’t feel qualified to answer, but I’ll try: No. Personally, I don’t see my species evolving sufficiently in my lifetime to answer yes, much as I’d like to.
7. Describe the pitch of your voice in one word?
8. Can cold fingers type fast?
Yes, but they type the wrong things. You might be writing an intense chase scene, and then suddenly, your main character is on a beach in Playa Del Carmen holding an icy cold drink and thinking – I don’t know how I got here, but I like it!
9. Define: News, using a word with three vowels.
Depressing. I try to avoid the news when I’m writing, because it sucks a bit of the joy out of my mood.
10. Please ask me a question.
Name three places you’d like to visit in your lifetime. They don’t have to be real.
The Lake of Tranquillity, My Inner Eye, and Wonderland.
About Sheila Grau.
Sheila Grau grew up in an old house that had a secret closet nestled behind the bookshelves in the library. She was able to tuck herself into that little nook to ponder life’s mysteries, like how her mother knew she was dropping her vegetables to the dog at dinnertime. (Answer: The dog didn’t like vegetables, either, and spit them out on the floor.) Through the years, one mystery in particular seemed to have no answer: Where do evil overlords get their minions?
Unable to find an answer, she thought it would be fun to make one up. Dr. Critchlore’s School for Minions is her first book.
Sheila currently lives in Northern California with her husband and four children and, sadly, no minions.